


Wishes

by mally09



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, Clexa, Clexa Endgame, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Kissing, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Mutual Pining, New Year's Eve, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mally09/pseuds/mally09
Summary: Lexa loves her best friend. But has learned to live with the fact that her best friend loves another boy. Her pining is secret, but her love itself is very evident to Clarke. What happens to the two of them when Lexa makes a new year's eve plan this year that is slightly different from the previous years? Does Clarke have reason to worry?ORThe one where Jealousy pushed Clarke to finally make her move.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 189





	Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote 14 pages in a couple of hours. I must be crazy.

New Year's Eve 2021

Lexa walked into the party with Ontari on her arm. She wasn't her date. They both had made that clear. She was just company for the evening. No one could be Lexa's date, not really. 

She looked around at the numerous familiar faces from class. Some more from other classes that she knew because of the sports teams she was a part of. She was a real good player but there was just one thing she could not master. 

Lexa was in love with Clarke. But Clarke was in love with Finn. And while Lexa had come to make peace with that fact, she couldn't help the dark corner of her heart that every once in a while wondered what it would be like if Clarke loved her back. 

Of course, Clarke knew. Clarke wasn't blind. And Clarke made it known that she knew. Lexa didn't try to hide it. But Lexa did her best to respect Clarke's choices. If Clarke loved Finn, then Finn probably made her happy. She wished she was Finn. Or maybe just that Clarke could find that happiness with her. But she saved those wishes for shooting stars. 

As she walked into the party, she said hello to a number of the other kids there and even stopped every once in a while to make conversation. She looked around in search of Clarke. She knew she was gonna be at the party with Finn. So she looked around for Finn too. 

She saw Raven, she saw Anya, she saw Echo, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Murphy, Emori, Monty, Harper, but absolutely no sign of Clarke. 

She decided they probably hadn't arrived yet. Ontari left her side to go speak with some other friends. So Lexa decided to fetch herself a drink. She wasn't a huge drinker but she didn't mind one or two when there was reason to celebrate. And today, being the last day of the year, that was reason enough to celebrate. 

She may not get her New Year’s kiss the way she always imagined it. But at least she'll end the year in the presence of her friends and mostly in the presence of her best friend - Clarke. 

That's actually what made this all the more difficult for her. She loved Clarke. Not just romantically, but she cared for her, she was protective about her and more often than not she would go out of her way to be to Clarke what Clarke wanted her to be. When the blonde needed her, she was there. She couldn't have the girl, but she swore the girl would never have to look for her. 

Lexa picked up her glass and decided to walk by the pool. There was no one at the party she didn't know, and likewise, everyone knew her. Guys who didn't know she was gay always tried to hit on her and she would politely let them know she's not into guys. Girls would swoon over Lexa but those were the ones who didn't know her very well. It was Lexa's inner circle of girls who knew where her heart lay. No one stood a chance against Clarke Griffin and while it was quite sad to think about, it was almost impossible to find Lexa ever look at or treat another girl the same way as she did Clarke. 

Lexa enjoyed the attention though. From the many women who did try to flirt with her. She knew it didn't matter to Clarke. Clarke swore it didn't matter. And Lexa believed her. Clarke was happy, there was no reason for her to have an issue with the girls Lexa spoke to. Lexa just loved the attention. 

Lexa smiled to herself at the thought. She was reminded of a particular incident that took place not too long ago. The whole gang was at a bar. Finn and Clarke were there too. Lexa wasn't drinking that night but everyone else was. She was to drive some of them home anyway. Clarke was chatting with her by the bar and had only turned her attention away to Finn for five minutes when another blonde woman found a seat next to Lexa and asked her her name. 

Lexa being the charming, polite, welcoming person she is, engaged with the woman not realising the effect it had on Clarke. What effect though, right?

It was only later that night when everyone was on the dance floor that Lexa noticed something really off. Clarke would not leave her side. Even though Finn was around, Clarke danced with Lexa and while Lexa appreciated it, she didn't quite understand why Clarke was not dancing with Finn. Finn himself didn't seem to bother. He was busy talking with the boys. 

"Clarke, is everything alright?"

"Yea, why wouldn't it be?" Clarke answered as she continued to dance close to Lexa. 

"Ahhmm, are you and Finn okay or are y'all fighting again?"

"We're okay, why do you ask?"

Lexa looked over at Finn and then back at Clarke. 

"What? I can't dance with my best friend just cause I'm dating someone?" Clarke asked with clear annoyance on her face. 

Lexa laughed. She wasn't going to complain. She loved being around Clarke. They always got along well. 

It was only when the same woman at the bar approached Lexa again that she really understood what was bothering Clarke. 

Lexa would never forget that day. Clarke never tells it like it was after that. But that night, in her drunken stupor, Clarke admitted to jealousy. That was the first and last time Lexa heard any of it though. 

Since then, Clarke has always denied it. She said she doesn't remember it. And while it hurt Lexa to hear the 'I don't remember it' more than the 'I’m not jealous' she decided to never bring it up again. 

There was only so much Lexa could do to show Clarke how much she felt for her. To Lexa, it meant a lot that Clarke would dance with her, spend time with her, gosh, even get jealous about some random girl who approached her. But Clarke was taken. Clarke was in love with a boy and no matter how much Lexa fell for her, Clarke was pretty much in love with Finn. She has been for the past 2 years. And from what the world knew, they were going strong. 

Clarke was a private person when it came to her relationship. She never told anyone when Finn and her fought. She never told anyone when he did something grand for her. She never told anyone when she planned something grand for their anniversaries. But Lexa didn't have to be told to know when Clarke was at a bad spot in her relationship and when she was at a good spot. 

Lexa could see it on Clarke's face. It may have been crumbs, but when things were going bad between them, Clarke sought Lexa's advice. It was a tragic thing. Telling the girl you love with all your heart what she could do to save her relationship with the boy she loved with all her heart. 

It was a sabotaging thing to do telling the boy the things Clarke loved and many ways he could make it up to her. 

It was even more tragic the way Lexa slept every night dreaming of how life could be absolutely different if Clarke loved her back. 

She was brought out of her reverie when one of her classmates managed to throw another boy into the pool. She laughed with the others and then decided to make it back inside. 

This time when she entered, she spotted Clarke. She would recognise the girl from any angle. And this time she was looking at her blonde hair cascading down her back. 

Clarke was wearing a red dress that stuck to her body in all the right ways. Lexa scolded herself for staring, but really she was just appreciating the girls choice of clothes. She decided to walk up to her and say hello. 

"Hi," Lexa greeted

"Oh hey, Lex"

"You just got in?" 

"Yea, Finn was taking forever with his hair!" Clarke said with a roll of her eye. 

"When is he not?" Lexa joked and Clarke laughed. 

Finn approached them and greeted Lexa too. He excused Clarke for a min and told her something discreetly. Clarke nodded and smiled and then he went out to the poolside. 

"All good?" Lexa asked Clarke.

"Yea yea, all's fine, he just told me he's gonna go look for the boys and he'll be a while."

"Ah," Lexa said in acknowledgement. 

"Love the dress," Clarke said to Lexa as she looked her up to down. 

"Thanks, it's an old one, you've seen it before"

"Have I? Maybe I haven't really been looking," Clarke said and giggled. 

Lexa didn't know how she was supposed to take that. Did Clarke mean she's never bothered to notice or did she just imply she's noticing now? Before Lexa could make sense of it, Clarke grabbed her hand, "come on I need to pour a drink". 

They walked through the crowd of college kids, their classmates and found their place near the island kitchen counter. They were talking about their day when Ontari interrupted them to ask Lexa if she would pour her a drink too. Lexa obliged. 

"I knew I chose the right partner for the party." Ontari winked. Lexa laughed. Clarke sipped from her glass. 

When Ontari got back to her friends, Clarke spoke. "Partner eh? You didn't tell me you were bringing someone tonight."

"Yea, I didn't meet you today, you were at Finn's, remember?"

"Right," Clarke said. 

"Besides, I didn't "bring" her. She was coming to the party and I was coming to, so thought we could accompany each other here."

"She asked you, then?"

Lexa looked at Clarke funny. 

"No, I asked her, Clarke." Lexa laughed and finished pouring her own drink too. This would be her second and last drink of the night.

Lexa didn't get to read Clarke's expression as she brought the glass to her lips to sip on it.

"Drink alright?" Lexa asked her. 

"Yea it's perfect"

"Cool, wanna go check out what's happening by the pool?"

"Yea, come on," Clarke said as she took Lexa's hand in hers. 

Lexa didn't make much of it, Clarke held Lexa's hand often. It did mean much to her but Clarke probably knew and didn't bother anyway. 

Clarke wasn't responsible for what Lexa felt, so more often than not, Lexa never told her. She kept it to herself, like the wishes she sometimes wished, upon stars. 

***

Lexa was a natural at making Clarke laugh. She wasn't funny, she had zero humour. But it was in the way she told these silly stories that had absolutely no relevance to Clarke and yet made Clarke so much a part of it. Lexa loved talking to Clarke. Call her obsessed but she's never felt more at ease talking to anyone. 

Clarke laughed at the way Lexa imitated her mom and told her of their conversation from earlier this morning. They sat on a bench swing and watched the happenings at the poolside. 

"Why hasn't Finn come to get you yet?" Lexa asked. 

"Oh he's had enough of me today," Clarke responded. "And me, of him"

Lexa looked at Clarke and immediately noticed something was off. "Clarke, is everything okay? You're not telling me something."

"What? Everything's fine. I told you already."

Lexa looked at her intently. It could not escape her. "You're lying," Lexa said. 

"About what?"

"Well, you tell me!"

"Lex, nothing's wrong, can you relax?"

Lexa didn't say anything. If Clarke didn't want to tell her after she asked more than once, she wasn't going to push. She used to push a lot and it pushed Clarke away from her once. She wasn't gonna make that mistake again. So she went quiet. But she still looked at Clarke with that knowing stare. The blonde wasn't telling her something.

"If something's up between you and Finn, you might wanna fix it before the year ends. You have," Lexa lifted her watch to check the time, "45 mins to do so"

"Lex…"

"You don't have to tell me...I'm just saying you might wanna start the year on a good note."

Clarke sighed. Lexa knew why she was sighing. Lexa has always been one for these little things. She never wanted them to sleep over an argument. She had a panic attack once when Clarke didn't speak to her before going to bed. She thought the worst. And that was just Lexa. Small things were big symbols for her. 

It had taken Clarke some time, but she slowly understood that her best friend had some very precise ideas of love, how it's expressed, and what it means to love someone. Lexa needed to know at all times what she herself was feeling. If she couldn't understand it, it drove her crazy. It always needed to make sense. Lexa knew she sounded crazy most of the time. She couldn't blame Clarke for calling her out on it. But that's just who she was. She was glad that over time, whether or not Clarke agreed, she now came to understand and was not judgemental about Lexa's ideas of love. 

Lexa hoped that one day Clarke would understand her to the extent that she would never have to explain the why's of it. Today seemed to be one of those days. 

Clarke nodded at Lexa's suggestion.

Clarke too wanted to start the new year on a good note. She just wasn't sure that 'note' was the same one she started her last two years on. 

"What is it, now?" Lexa asked. 

"Nothing, I'm just really glad we're friends," Clarke said as she took Lexa's hand in hers. 

Lexa smiled. "I'm glad too. Now tell me, do I have to beat a guy up?"

Clarke giggled. And Lexa took a moment to watch the way Clarke laughed. She'd seen it so many times, yet when it was her who caused it, her heart would do summersaults. She hoped with all her heart that she was always able to do this, to make Clarke feel lighter. Finn might have won her heart but Lexa owned these little fleeting moments. Crumbs. But she'd take them over nothing, any day. 

"What?" Clarke asked. Now fully aware of the way Lexa was looking at her.

"Nothing," Lexa said and then looked out at some kids dancing by the pool. 

Clarke looked too. Lexa realised her hand was still in Clarke's so she shifted it to brush some of her own hair behind her ear. 

Lexa missed the warmth immediately. But it felt wrong still holding on to it. 

Clarke didn't look up from it but she spoke, "So, who are you starting the year with? Ontari?"

Lexa heard it...that tone she'll never forget. But she would never put Clarke on the spot. "Nah, not Ontari," she looked up then and looked around. "You see that girl over there?" Lexa asked. 

Clarke looked to where Lexa was pointing. "Yea?"

"She's been texting me for a while now."

"And?" 

"And, I don't know, I mean, I'm not into her or anything, but we've been speaking a lot, maybe I'll be talking to her when the clock strikes 12."

"Yea?" Clarke asked. And Lexa looked at her almost immediately. 

"Yea I mean, everyone's gonna be sucking someone's face tonight at 12. I might as well bring it in talking to someone I might be mildly interested in." Lexa shrugged.

"Mildly interested?" Clarke repeated in a teasing voice. 

"Okay, come on, not mildly interested, not in the way you're thinking. But it's been nice talking to her. And well, she mentioned she would like to be around someone she knows when the clock hit 12."

"Lex, she's probably trying to tell you she wants to kiss you."

"What? No! It's not like that. She likes talking to me. She's new around here. Look, she's just being introduced to people around here. I'm sure she just wants to be in known company when the new year begins."

"And what about you?" 

"Huh?"

"Nothing, never mind." 

"Clarke, you better tell me what's up, 'cause you're acting weird as fuck! Did you spike your own drink? Fuck, did you spike mine?"

Clarke laughed and playfully hit Lexa's shoulder. The two of them watched the girl as she was being introduced to Raven. Suddenly she looked their way and waved out to Lexa. 

Lexa waved back. "I should go say hi," Lexa said. 

"Yea, yea of course" Clarke said.

"Would you like to meet her?"

"No no, I should... I should go find Finn." Clarke said. 

"Oh, yea, yea, sort whatever is going on, please" Lexa suggested. 

"Yea, I'll try." 

Lexa told her she'll catch up with her later on during the party and Clarke made her way back inside. 

Lexa approached Raven and the girl, and they spoke for a bit until Raven left them to it. 

Lexa laughed as she spoke with the girl. She was funny, she was beautiful, but no one made her feel the way Clarke did. It was such a contrast being in the company of warm sunshine and then being in the company of someone else. 

As much as Lexa wanted to be around Clarke at 12 am, she knew better than to start another year wishing she was the one holding Clarke. So this year, she hoped she didn't have to watch them kiss. This year she would have a good conversation with a new friend and then when it is a little after 12 she would go wish Clarke. 

She knew Clarke always wished her after Finn. So she would be around when Clarke looked for her. Clarke didn't need to know that Lexa was always looking for her. 

A quick head turn towards the house showed Lexa that Clarke was not with Finn yet. In fact, she was talking to Raven. 

Lexa was brought back to her conversation with the girl when Ontari joined them.

"Why hello there, you must be Lexa's new friend."

"Oh hey! Ontari, this is Costia. Costia, meet Ontari."

They exchanged pleasantries. But Lexa was a little distracted. Another turn towards where Clarke and Raven were and she noticed they were just looking towards her but turned towards each other pretty quickly. Something was up. She looked around in search of Finn. It was only now that she realised she hadn't seen him anywhere since he had come to say something to Clarke earlier. 

She looked back towards where Raven and Clarke were and they weren't there anymore. 

Ontari brought her back to this conversation. "Lex, if you don't mind, can I introduce your new friend to the girls?" 

Lexa smiled. "Of course, I'm not holding her back." Everyone knew what that meant.

Lexa would never hold anyone back because she would never take anything forward with them unless the girl was Clarke. And maybe Costia yet had to understand that if she was looking for something more than a friendship with Lexa. 

When Ontari walked away with Costia, Lexa realised she just lost her 12 am company. Of course, Ontari was hitting on the girl. 

Lexa had other things on her mind now. Where did Clarke and Raven go? Why was Finn missing? Did Clarke and Finn have a fight? Was Clarke upset? She needed to find one of them. Lexa moved around the place in search of either of them. 

It was 11:45 pm now and Lexa didn't give a damn that she didn't really know how she was bringing the year in. As long as she had Clarke somewhere close, she'd feel alright. Maybe she needed a therapist about that. But she'd think about that later. 

Lexa's phone beeped so she checked it hoping it was Clarke. But it wasn't. It was Ontari. "Hey, um, I hope you don't mind that I stole her away from you? She seems pretty nice and I just wanted to check, are you, like, into her? Cause if you are, I won't flirt."

Lexa loved that Ontari was checking. But she laughed nonetheless. Ontari knew better than anyone that Lexa was not interested in flirting with anyone other than the girl she really wanted in her life. The one she just couldn't see anywhere right now. 

"Hey, go ahead, you know I'm not into her that way," Lexa replied. 

She looked up from her phone and spotted Raven walking downstairs. Lexa tried not to look like she's been looking for her for a while. But Raven would totally understand even if Lexa seemed to have been. 

Everyone knew Lexa would be looking for Clarke if they hadn't seen Clarke around in a bit.

"Rae, would you happen to know where Clarke is?" 

"Lex, I was just looking for you! Clarke's upstairs, she's not doing okay, she's a little upset."

"What? Where's Finn? Does this have to do with him?"

"I can't say, but she's crying and she told me to send you upstairs, I think she needs to talk to you. "

Lexa was visibly worried. She nodded and ran upstairs. This was not their place, she didn't know what room she was looking for. Raven gave no such instruction. 

A thousand thoughts were running through her mind. Why was Clarke crying? Did Finn and she have a fight? Was it's cause Lexa told her to go fix it before the new year began? Why was Clarke looking for her? Did she think Lexa would be able to help solve their feud? Her heart was racing. Even the thought of Clarke crying broke her. 

She knocked on one door and called out, "Clarke, are you in there?"

No answer.

She tried the next door, when no answer came, she opened it and closed it immediately before that pillow that came flying to the door could hit her. She walked in on a couple. "What a way to start the year," she muttered to herself and rolled her eyes. 

She reached the last door in the hallway and knocked, "Clarke? Are you…"

The door opened, she was pulled inside and the door was shut. Before she could understand what was happening. Clarke threw her arms around her and hugged her tight. 

"Clarke," Lexa tried but she could feel Clarke hold on to her so securely, so she held her back. Was she crying?

"Clarke, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you crying? Did Finn say something to hurt you?"

Lexa's questions were unending but quickly hushed by a simple "shhhh" from Clarke. 

Lexa held her back softly. 

"I'm okay now," Clarke said. 

"But can you tell me what happened?" Lexa tried to set herself loose from the hug, but Clarke gripped her tighter. 

Lexa couldn't begin to sort through everything she was feeling right now. Of course, they've hugged before, but Clarke has never held on this long. 

"I'm not crying, I told Raven to tell you that so you'll get here sooner instead of going to look for Finn to come to me," Clarke said. 

"Okay, what can I do for you, you don't sound like you're upset, I'm so confused. Raven told me…"

"Raven told you what I told her to tell you. I just needed you here," Clarke explained. 

"Okay, I'm here now, is everything okay?"

"Lex, no you don't get it. Nothings okay!"

"Clarke, I'm trying to make it okay, but you're not giving me much to go on. Why are you not letting me look at you?" 

"Cause I'm too afraid to look you in the eye and ask you what I'm about to ask you."

"Clarke you know you can ask me whatever you want whenever you want, however you want, looking me in the eye or not, just ask already."

Clarke was silent. But her grip around Lexa did not waver. So Lexa now held her back more confidently, hoping Clarke would feel more comfortable to say whatever was on her mind. 

"It's almost 12, would you rather be spending it next to your new interest?"

"My new interest?"

"Ugh, don't fool around Lex, the new girl you've been talking to."

Lexa half giggled, she was amused. "Clarke, I'm not interested in her, the only reason I said I wanted to be around her was cause I didn't wanna be around everyone kissing their partners."

"But that also meant you didn't wanna be around me this new year’s eve. You have 2 minutes. Cause if you still don't wanna be around me, I'm gonna have to let you go and push you out," 

"Clarke, hold on a minute. You know I'd spend all my new years eves around you. This year too, I was gonna make sure I was around you even though you would be kissing Finn, I was just not gonna look. I was gonna wish you second, like we always have the past two years. You couldn't have not trusted me on that,"

Lexa felt Clarke's hold loosen. 

"But what if I want you to be my first wish?" Clarke said as she pulled out of Lexa's embrace, still holding her but now coming face to face with the brunette. Lexa looked at her confused. 

"Clarke, whatever it is you and Finn fought about, I'm sure you guys can fix it, it's okay that y'all don't fix it tonight, in fact…" before Lexa could finish. 

Clarke placed her hand on Lexa's mouth. 

"Lex, I broke up with Finn two weeks ago. I couldn't be with him when my heart has always been with you. Okay before I say anything further, it's almost midnight, and there's something I have to do, please don't hate me for this.."

Lexa’s next minute was a minute in heaven. She felt like she died and went to heaven in an instant the moment Clarke's lips intertwined with hers. Her hands froze for a minute, not knowing what was happening. But she needed to ground herself, she needed to feel if this was real, so she latched her hands onto the only tangible thing she could reach. Clarke. Clarke was real. This moment was real. This was not one of her fantasies. This was not one of her daydreams. No. Clarke was kissing her. Was she kissing her back? Lexa wasn't sure. Should she kiss her back? She wasn't sure. But fuck, Clarke was kissing her.

Her body melted on the inside, she felt feverish. She felt a rush of cold, but more than anything she felt Clarke's soft palms, the ones that generally held her hand, now holding her face. Lexa's hands, on Clarke's waist, were gripping her sides now. Trying to ground herself. Trying to assure the rest of her body that this. This was really happening. A loud cheer of Happy New Year from downstairs broke Lexa out of her reverie. 

She pulled back, breaking the kiss. She just about opened her eyes when Clarke said, "That was for 2021. And now for the new year," Clarke kissed her again! And this time Lexa was ready.

This time Lexa kissed her back. Fuck, she had no idea what this was, why this was or how this was. But the girl she loved so much was kissing her. Far be it from her to question it. So Lexa kissed her back.

Lexa kissed her the way she would kiss her in her dreams. She kissed her the way she would kiss her in her fantasies. She kissed her the way she imagined she would if those shooting stars ever landed. Fuck, maybe one did, somewhere across the galaxy. Because this kiss felt more than all of those make-believe kisses. This kiss felt like the whole universe heard her, not just those shooting stars, this kiss felt like a galaxy of stars got together to orchestrate this moment. Fuck, Lexa has never had this much luck, ever. 

She broke the kiss again and this time when she did, it took Clarke longer to realise it was over, her eyes opened after Lexa’s. “Happy New Year,” Clarke said. 

Lexa forgot why she broke the kiss. She smiled. Clarke looked deeply into her eyes and Lexa got lost in Clarke's. For a moment, nothing else existed, not the screaming from downstairs, not those million stars dancing in delight in the galaxy, not even the couple next door who was probably making much more out of the current alignment of the universe. 

It took Lexa a second to shake her gaze out of Clarke's eyes and come back to the present moment. “Clarke, I don’t understand. I mean, yes, fuck, this is...that kiss was…”

Before she could finish, Clarke interrupted her, “long overdue.”

Lexa looked even more confused. Clarke slowly let go of Lexa, to give her some space, but Lexa immediately felt Clarke's hands slide out and leave the embrace, so she held onto one of Clarke’s hands. Clarke ran her other hand through her own hair. 

“Lex, Finn and I weren’t working out, we were good at first, but the longer we stayed together, the better I saw how we just didn't fit. He’s a good guy, you know, he cares about me, he really does, but I found that I was not able to care about him in the same measure that I cared about you. And I tried, I tried hard, I was patient, thinking my love for him would increase, I knew I liked him, but love was something we rushed into. I thought it would grow on us. But it didn't. Instead, the further away you moved from me, the more I wanted you in my life; so guilt ensued. And the harder I tried with Finn, the further away you moved from me. I felt like I was trapped. I didn't wanna hurt him but I didn't wanna lose you. So I revelled in the attention you gave me, the little things, you just kept giving and I wanted to give in return, but I felt guilty, guilty for promising Finn so much but wanting to give it all to you.”

Lexa was listening, but her heart was racing. 

“Lex, he and I had a fight two weeks ago and I cried, but I couldn't tell you cause then I would have to explain what was happening. But Finn, being the attentive guy that he always is, he knew. He knew that we would break up one day and the reason would be my growing interest in you. He said he saw it coming. But he also said that he did not want to be in something that was not entirely there. If my heart was leaning elsewhere, he had no right to make it his. He was being so understanding. I felt even more guilty. I hid all of it from you. Because I couldn't bring this to you in pieces. No. You would just convince me to fix it with him like you tried today.”

“Clarke, I had no idea…”

“Lex, you couldn’t have known. I never made it clear to you. The first time I knew for sure that I really really felt something for you was the night we all went out to that bar. I still can’t believe I admitted to you that I was jealous. I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. So really, that was all liquid courage. But ever since then, you know, I always tried to push that topic aside, because I was trying to push my feelings for you aside. But do you know what I realised?”

  
“What?” Lexa asked. They were both sitting at the edge of the bed now facing one another. Clarke had one leg folded at the knee, placed on top of the bed and the other dangling down so she could face Lexa and speak. Clarke lifted both her hands again, now placing them on Lexa’s face, holding it in place so Lexa was looking into her eyes when she said what she said next.

“There’s no pushing aside Lexa Woods. When Lexa Woods walks into your life, she takes centre stage. And if you try to push her, and place someone else at the centre, she will earn her position again, until you realise that was her place all along.”

A soft smile appeared on Lexa’s face. 

Clarke continued. “When Lexa Woods walks into your life. No, when Lexa Woods chooses you, you choose her back, because there is no one, no one as worthy of love as you are."

“Clarke, I don’t know what to say…”

“I love you”

“I’ve said that to you before, you know I’ll say it again, you don't have to tell me.”

“No, Lex, listen to me. I. Love. You.”

Lexa waited. This was the first time Clarke said it to her. Every other time was always in her head. In her make-believe world.” 

Lexa searched Clarke’s eyes. Searched for truth, searched for honestly. And that was all she could see. No lies this time and Lexa knew what Clarke's lying eyes were, she could spot them from miles away. But right here, sitting just a foot away from the eyes she often saw stars in, Lexa made one more wish. 

Please let this not be a dream. 

“You’re not dreaming, babe, I love you, I've been waiting to say it, I've been waiting to kiss you and I couldn't wait any longer. I almost didn't do this when you told me about that girl. Raven pushed me. And something just felt wrong to leave from here tonight without telling you how much I love you.”

Lexa smiled. 

“Lex, Finn left the party quite early, we got here together cause he hasn't told his friends yet that we broke up and I wanna give him his time for that. He’s not angry with me, we didn't fight today, we’re okay. We broke up with a mutual understanding, it wasn't for us. He understood where my heart was, it’s always been with you, Lex.”

“Clarke, I love you too.”

Clarke’s eyes beamed with a happiness Lexa had not seen for too long. She pulled Clarke in to hug her once again and Clarke did. This time Clarke almost jumped atop Lexa. Straddling her hips, now making herself comfortable on Lexa’s lap. When she pulled out of the hug. Lexa held Clarke’s sides. Clarke held Lexa’s face and leaned in to kiss her again. 

“Wait,” Lexa said. Before Clarke’s lips could touch hers. 

“What is it?” Clarke asked, a little worried. 

“Happy New Year, Clarke. You’re my first wish.”

Lexa smiled softly as she said those words and Clarke softened at it. She leaned in and kissed Lexa passionately, Lexa enjoyed the lightness that came with it, the giddy headed feeling of finally being able to do new years eve right. She revelled in the beautiful feeling that very few get to experience, that of shooting stars finally landing, that of wishes, finally coming true. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you gave this one a kudos, you'll probably like my other fics too. Please leave a comment or connect with me on Twitter (@clexafantasy) if you have something to say about my fics :) Thanks for reading!


End file.
